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Topic: Good Jokes???

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The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

Got jokes????Post 'em up and we'll all have a laugh and tell them on the air.Peacecool

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73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

09:28 AM on 08/16/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

This is one I told last Friday night,

Kuweit Wedding

A journalist had done a story on genderroles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted thenthat women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

 

She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men nowwalked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of thewomen for an explanation.

 

"This is marvelous," said the journalist."What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

 

Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Landmines."

 


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73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

09:31 AM on 08/16/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

A Wild Horse Ride

A blonde decides to try horseback riding,even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts thehorse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. Itgallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins toslip from the saddle.

 

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane,but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms aroundthe horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

 

Thehorse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slippingrider.Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leapaway from the horse and throw herself to safety.

 

Unfortunately,her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercyof the horse's pounding hooves. As her head is struck against theground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, sheis mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse

 

Yeah, I know it's old but funny anyways so there!!!mad

--

73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

09:34 AM on 08/16/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

Name Game

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.

The teacher held up a picture of a cat.

"What animal is this?" she asked.

"A cat!" said Eddie.

"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"

"A dog!" said Eddie.

"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a

Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,

"It's what your mom calls your dad."

Eddie says,"It's an ASSHOLE!!!!"

Peace,Da Ratcool




 


06:07 PM on 08/17/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43


06:16 PM on 08/17/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
Stingray
Stingray
Moderator
Posts: 24

How do you know there is a blond working in your office??

 

There is white out on the computer screen.

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Stingray  1963

10:20 PM on 08/17/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.

 

When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?"

 

"Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.

 

The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed  them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.

 

When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on disability!!!"


--

73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

12:52 PM on 08/18/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !!

 

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden.

 

After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

 

"Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!" the Warden gasped.

 

With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

 

"Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks !! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

 

"Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...


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73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

12:55 PM on 08/18/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
CrazyTrain
CrazyTrain
Member
Posts: 11

Ok I have the bigest joke you've ever heard of.... you ready... here goes.... "CrazyHorse" There you have it the biggest joke out there.tongue

10:31 AM on 08/25/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
The River Rat
The River Rat
Site Owner
Posts: 43

Wow!!!Nobody likes that guy huh?lol

Here's an old blonde joke for ya,

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.. Her friend said, 'Who ever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  'HELLLOOOOOOO......,'answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!big grin

Peace, Da Ratcool

--

73'rds & dirty words

to you and yours

from me and mine

your friendly neighborhood River Rat

01:27 PM on 08/25/2009 Flag Quote & Reply
Stingray
Stingray
Moderator
Posts: 24
What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods??? Santa stops at three ho's.
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Stingray  1963

12:27 AM on 12/19/2009 Flag Quote & Reply

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